Yes. I know.
I’m three years late with this review.
I avoided seeing this because I thought it was going to be stupid.
A stupid waste of time.
And it isn’t smart.
It didn’t have to be.
And it isn’t a waste of time.
Not that it’s a high point of cinema culture.
All I knew going into this was that it was directed by Robert Rodriguez, starred Danny Trejo and that Machete doesn’t text.
That’s it.
In my opinion that’s the absolute best way to experience this film.
So if you haven’t seen the film, go and watch it now.
Yes, I liked it, blah blah blah, now go watch it.
If you’ve already watched it and you want to know what I thought about it, read on.
First off let’s get my one gripe out of the way.
Robert Rodriguez decided to shoot the first scene in the grindhouse retro style that he and Tarantino decided to use on and off in their Grindhouse (2007) double-feature.
It still doesn’t work.
Using contemporary filming and editing techniques and slapping an “old film wear” filter over it doesn’t make it feel “grindhouse” it just makes it feel like you tried to make it feel like a grindhouse exploitation film.
I’m a fan of exploitation films and whenever I get a chance to I watch them projected off of a 35mm film print in a theater so I know what legitimate film wear looks like.
My advice is that next time some big budget film-maker decides to try to make a scene or their film look old, then decide on a film stock that this imaginary film would have been printed on and then implement a color-timing scheme or a filter that would reflect the fading associated with that type of film stock.
Look at me trying to tell Robert Rodriquez and Quentin Tarantino how to do their jobs.
As for the rest of the film?
Practically flawless.
As I’ve already said, it’s not high art, but for a Mexploitation action film it’s everything you could hope for.
And the cast. The cast is literally the most star-studded cast since JFK (1991) and the awful adaptation of A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999).
I’m not going to list all of the noteworthy cast members, because that’s what IMDB is for. But what’s even more important than getting a decent cast is making sure that they have the chops to carry the roles and in Machete, everyone was not only cast appropriately, but typecast appropriately and for a film of this type you’re not casting for ability, you’re casting for style.
In Grindhouse, Rodriguez and Tarantino stacked the deck, but some of the favors they did in the casting decisions hurt the film because just because you know a person in real life and they’re cool as a field of cucumbers in an ice storm and legitimate ass-kicking bad-asses doesn’t mean that they have the chops to be believable on camera.
Danny Trejo isn’t a great actor. But he’s a great stereotypical Mexploitation thug which is what he’s been doing for the past thirty years and doing well. This will easily be the pinnacle of his career. Unless they actually make the promised sequels Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again.
One particular cameo that I totally didn’t anticipate and thoroughly enjoyed was Tom Savini’s turn as the hitman Osiris Amanpour. Rodriguez pretty much tapped into the subconscious fantasies Tom Savini has about the kind of guy that Tom Savini imagines himself to be. Don’t get me wrong. Tom Savini is a legitimate bad-ass. He’s one of the few guys that I have to look down at when I’m talking to him that I wouldn’t want to fuck with. But Rodriguez lets Tom Savini be the best fantasy Tom Savini he can be and it’s amazing.
So, if you haven’t seen Machete. Do.
Now if we can only get Rob Zombie to finally make Werewolf Women of the SS we can put this faux grindhouse phenomenon to rest.
I avoided seeing this because I thought it was going to be stupid.
A stupid waste of time.
And it isn’t smart.
It didn’t have to be.
And it isn’t a waste of time.
Not that it’s a high point of cinema culture.
All I knew going into this was that it was directed by Robert Rodriguez, starred Danny Trejo and that Machete doesn’t text.
That’s it.
In my opinion that’s the absolute best way to experience this film.
So if you haven’t seen the film, go and watch it now.
Yes, I liked it, blah blah blah, now go watch it.
If you’ve already watched it and you want to know what I thought about it, read on.
First off let’s get my one gripe out of the way.
Robert Rodriguez decided to shoot the first scene in the grindhouse retro style that he and Tarantino decided to use on and off in their Grindhouse (2007) double-feature.
It still doesn’t work.
Using contemporary filming and editing techniques and slapping an “old film wear” filter over it doesn’t make it feel “grindhouse” it just makes it feel like you tried to make it feel like a grindhouse exploitation film.
I’m a fan of exploitation films and whenever I get a chance to I watch them projected off of a 35mm film print in a theater so I know what legitimate film wear looks like.
My advice is that next time some big budget film-maker decides to try to make a scene or their film look old, then decide on a film stock that this imaginary film would have been printed on and then implement a color-timing scheme or a filter that would reflect the fading associated with that type of film stock.
Look at me trying to tell Robert Rodriquez and Quentin Tarantino how to do their jobs.
As for the rest of the film?
Practically flawless.
As I’ve already said, it’s not high art, but for a Mexploitation action film it’s everything you could hope for.
And the cast. The cast is literally the most star-studded cast since JFK (1991) and the awful adaptation of A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999).
I’m not going to list all of the noteworthy cast members, because that’s what IMDB is for. But what’s even more important than getting a decent cast is making sure that they have the chops to carry the roles and in Machete, everyone was not only cast appropriately, but typecast appropriately and for a film of this type you’re not casting for ability, you’re casting for style.
In Grindhouse, Rodriguez and Tarantino stacked the deck, but some of the favors they did in the casting decisions hurt the film because just because you know a person in real life and they’re cool as a field of cucumbers in an ice storm and legitimate ass-kicking bad-asses doesn’t mean that they have the chops to be believable on camera.
Danny Trejo isn’t a great actor. But he’s a great stereotypical Mexploitation thug which is what he’s been doing for the past thirty years and doing well. This will easily be the pinnacle of his career. Unless they actually make the promised sequels Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again.
One particular cameo that I totally didn’t anticipate and thoroughly enjoyed was Tom Savini’s turn as the hitman Osiris Amanpour. Rodriguez pretty much tapped into the subconscious fantasies Tom Savini has about the kind of guy that Tom Savini imagines himself to be. Don’t get me wrong. Tom Savini is a legitimate bad-ass. He’s one of the few guys that I have to look down at when I’m talking to him that I wouldn’t want to fuck with. But Rodriguez lets Tom Savini be the best fantasy Tom Savini he can be and it’s amazing.
So, if you haven’t seen Machete. Do.
Now if we can only get Rob Zombie to finally make Werewolf Women of the SS we can put this faux grindhouse phenomenon to rest.
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